Greetings, fellow patriots. As a popular MAGA influencer and spokesperson for XtremeRipt male muscle supplement, I’m here today to lay out why you should be furiously angry about Taylor Swift’s new album “Life of a Showgirl.”

In 2024, our Xtreme President Donald Trump wrote “I HATE TAYLOR SWIFT!” on Truth Social. And in August, he called Swift a “Woke singer” and wrote: “Ever since I alerted the world as to what she was by saying on TRUTH that I can’t stand her (HATE!). She was booed out of the Super Bowl and became, NO LONGER HOT. The tide has seriously turned ‒ Being WOKE is for losers, being Republican is what you want to be.”

For those reasons alone, it’s incumbent on all MAGA faithful to despise and be deeply offended by Swift’s new album, which dropped Oct. 3 and will undoubtedly bomb. Go woke, go broke, amirite?!?

Allow me to nurture your outrage over new Taylor Swift album

You all know that I, like my fellow MAGA influencers and my friends over at Fox News, am always here to guide your outrage and deliver reasons why the latest thing that happened is the worst thing that has ever happened and is entirely the fault of liberals. Some of my more influential pieces include “Boycott That New Disney Movie Before It Turns Your Dog Gay” and “Do Starbucks ‘Holiday’ Cups Contain Satanic Messaging? Yes They Do.”

So allow me to explain why Swift’s latest album, which I have not listened to because I’m wokeness-intolerant, is deeply anti-American and something you should feel enraged about for at least the next 10 weeks.

First off, President Trump has already decreed that Swift is “NO LONGER HOT” and he hates her. How dare she continue to make music! Entertainers serve at the pleasure of the president. That’s in the Constitution, and I strongly encourage you to share that FACT with all the pro-Taylor-Swift family members who no longer talk to you.

How dare Taylor Swift suggest I spend time being unbothered

Next, we already know the lyrics on what I’m calling “Life of a WOKE Girl” album will be anti-MAGA. Check out this one that was released before the album came out: “Everyone's unbothered 'til they're not.”

WRONG! As a tireless supporter of President Trump, I am bothered CONSTANTLY! My outrage never ceases, and when I’m not busy being mad about something or promoting amazing XtremeRipt products, I’m dutifully looking for the next thing to tell you to be outraged about.

'Life of a Showgirl' song titles are clearly code for an anti-MAGA statement

To show you how deep the rot runs in Swift’s so-called music, I took the list of song titles from her new album and typed the following prompt into ChatGPT:

“Use the letters in these words to write a sentence critical of Donald Trump: 'The Life of a Showgirl Cancelled The Fate of Ophelia Elizabeth Taylor Opalite Father Figure Eldest Daughter Ruin the Friendship Actually Romantic Wish List Wood Honey.”

And do you want to know what ChatGPT, which I trust because I believe in AI and crypto, sent back to me? It sent back this: “Donald Trump ran a cruel, corrupt regime and tarnished the promise of genuine American decency.”

NICE TRY, SWIFT! It doesn’t take a genius to take what you’re doing and prove it’s a vast left-wing conspiracy directly targeting our duly elected and Xtremely amazing president!

Never stop being mad about Taylor Swift. It's the MAGA way!

I hope you all will join me in being apoplectically furious about and victimized by this transparent slight. It’s yet another attempt by radical leftists to make us think that enjoyable pop music from a woman who hasn’t technically done anything controversial isn’t trying to poison our minds with catchy songs about love and life.

Without Trump’s support, I’m sure Swift’s album will be a MASSIVE FLOP anyway, but just in case, make sure you stay engaged and outraged. Man the Facebook comment cannons and plaster social media sites with your anger.

And don’t forget to type in my name to get 20% off your next order of XtremeRipt male muscle supplements. MAGA!

Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on Bluesky at @rexhuppke.bsky.social and on Facebook at facebook.com/RexIsAJerk

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Taylor Swift dares to release new album after Trump declares her 'NO LONGER HOT' | Opinion

Reporting by Rex Huppke, USA TODAY / USA TODAY

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