First off, I want to note that I’m thrilled — not necessarily on a personal level but certainly on Taylor Swift’s behalf — that she is finally getting properly railed. As someone who has met her one time for 12 seconds and enjoyed her music for exponentially longer than that, I feel the appropriate amount of invested in her happiness, sexual or otherwise. I think she deserves carnal fulfillment and I’m glad that she feels comfortable singing about getting it, especially in an increasingly conservative and sex-negative cultural climate.

That is different from wanting to know specific, visceral details about Travis Kelce’s dick. Which I do now. Thanks to “Wood.”

Before The Life of a Showgirl dropped , I’d already learned so much by accident about the rest of Travis Kelce. This i

See Full Page