MEDITERRANEAN SEA — Greta Thunberg and other members of the latest humanitarian flotilla sailing to Gaza were subjected to unspeakable cruelty by the Israeli Defense Forces, who kidnapped them and then gave them dry sub sandwiches with no mayo to eat.

Sources said IDF soldiers forcibly boarded the boats, interrupting several drum circles just as they were really vibing. They then tortured the humanitarian heroes by giving them challah and turkey foot-longs without any condiments whatsoever.

"We are suffering greatly as we try to choke down these dry sandwiches the Jewish terrorists gave us," said Thunberg to Al Jazeera reporters. "They are difficult to swallow and quite bland. Several members of our crew have basically pretty much died from them. The cruelty of the IDF knows no bounds."

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