SOMEWHERE IN INDIA - Citing his need to "take it easy" during his podcast's summer hiatus, prolific theologian and Southern Baptist Theological Seminary president R. Albert Mohler is reportedly making an arduous daily trek up a mountain somewhere deep in the Himalayas to train with a secret organization of deadly Buddhist martial artists.

The shadowy cult of monks is rumored to be headquartered in a primitive dojo situated on top of a snowy peak at roughly 21,000′ elevation.

"It's really refreshing," Mohler said as he consumed a sparse meal of noodles and roasted yak, which he had hunted and killed that morning. "My daily 3 a.m. hike to the summit gives me time to clear my head, and brawling for my life in the fighting pits against Tibetan warrior monks is a real hoot and a half." The th

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