U.S. - A grim new study has found that all two million Americans who took a plane trip yesterday are now dead of COVID. The millions of citizens innocently flying on airplanes, completely safe from the virus because they were wearing masks in a tiny cylinder hurtling through the air with 200 other people, instantly dropped dead as soon as the mask mandate was struck down by a federal judge.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the mask mandate has been lifted. You are free to take off your masks if you choose!" said one elated flight attendant, removing her mask for the first time at work in over two years. Cheers went up from the cabin, but they were quickly subdued as, one by one, every passenger in the cabin dropped dead of COVID. The pilots, flight engineers, first officers, and attendants also ins

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