Title: Friend's Vulgar Language Causes Rift in Longtime Relationship

A woman from Ohio is grappling with the fallout of a friendship after expressing discomfort over her friend’s use of vulgar language during phone conversations. The woman, who has chosen to remain anonymous, shared her concerns about her friend "Cheryl," who often describes her other friends' problems in an animated manner, using loud and explicit language. This behavior extends to discussions about her recently deceased mother, who had been absent from Cheryl's life for over 50 years but returned when she developed dementia.

The woman noted that Cheryl only uses this language over the phone, not in person. This situation has become particularly troubling for her, as she recently experienced a falling-out with another friend, "Louise," who would call her while intoxicated and express harsh political views. After blocking Louise, the woman felt compelled to address her discomfort with Cheryl's language.

In a text message, she asked Cheryl to refrain from using vulgar language during their conversations, explaining that it upset her. She shared that her upbringing, marked by a father who often cursed and yelled, influenced her desire to avoid such language. Despite her intentions, Cheryl has since stopped communicating with her.

The woman is now left wondering if there is a way to mend the friendship or if she is permanently blocked. In response to her concerns, an advice columnist suggested that she was right to express her feelings about Cheryl's language. However, the columnist noted that as long as Cheryl is blocking her, there may be little that can be done to restore their friendship.

In a separate letter, another reader expressed frustration about feeling obligated to attend a neighbor's extravagant New Year’s Eve party. The reader, who referred to herself as "Boxed-In in Florida," mentioned that she prefers smaller gatherings and is uncertain about her plans for the holiday. She feels pressured to attend the party, which starts at 7 p.m., but finds the large social setting exhausting.

The columnist advised her that a save-the-date invitation does not obligate her to attend and encouraged her to communicate her uncertainty to her neighbor, Sheila. This way, she can maintain her flexibility for New Year’s Eve without feeling trapped by social expectations.