BURLINGTON, VT — The future of one of America's more well-known political figures was cast in doubt this week after news broke that the paid attendees of Bernie Sanders' rallies had voted to unionize.

The socialist icon who had built a large following over the last decade due to his anti-capitalist policies and large payroll of well-compensated supporters told his staffers that his campaign prospects were "in trouble" now that he would be forced to negotiate collective bargaining agreements with his paid rallygoers.

"These leftists are tough negotiators," Sanders reportedly told an aide. "For some reason, these commies think that banding together to demand equal pay and benefits from their wealthy employer is the right plan. They even told me if I don't give in to their demands, my entir

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