WINKLER, MB

Famed rock singer and humanitarian Bono met with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau this past week to encourage the leader to do something about the Abes epidemic in the small Mennonite city of Winkler, Manitoba.

“I had a great meeting with Mr. Trudeau – we even took a selfie together – and, in the end, we both agreed that the more selfies we took, the more we could do to eradicate Abes,” said Bono.

While some have proposed erecting a wall, both Bono and Prime Minister Trudeau agreed on the best solution to the Abes question.

“I really think it comes down to education,” explained Bono. “If we could just reach out to enough Mennonite parents and say, ‘hey, folks, there are other names out there.’ Maybe we can get some funds to hand out baby name books. Liam, Noah, Ethan.

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