KEMI Badenoch wants to curb English degrees due to their ‘poor graduate outcomes’. But she should realise there are many excellent reasons to do them. Like these:

Hot girls with rich dads do it

University is as much about meeting new people and broadening your horizons as it is preparing you for the job market. And who better to meet than single, nubile hotties with fathers who could set you up for life? The most challenging part of the course isn’t Ulysses , it’s deciding which one to settle down with in a loving parasitic relationship.

Your parents won’t pester you for three years

Parents respect English Literature as a degree choice because they know it could lead to you becoming a teacher. This means they’ll leave it until you graduate before starting the relentless nagging a

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