LEAMINGTON, ON

After a hard day’s work on the tomato farm, local man Joseph Kroeker, 21, sat down for a nice relaxing ale this evening, only to discover his choice of beverage was not nearly as potent as he was hoping.

“ , I’ve drank half a case of these ginger ales and I feel exactly the same as when I started,” said Kroeker. “Well, I guess maybe another six cans or so should do it.”

Kroeker and his would-be romantic partner Tina were pounding back Canada Drys all evening and .

“I don’t know what Pastor Dave was talking about in his sermon last week,” said Kroeker. “This stuff doesn’t do anything for me.”

After an entire evening of Canada Drys, Tina said she was tired to waiting for the ginger ale to kick in and was going home.

“Joseph doesn’t look anymore handsome to me at midnight

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