WASHINGTON, DC

As videos continue to surface on the Internet that show Mrs. Clinton with unusual facial ticks and long bathroom breaks, some Mennonite pundits are suggesting Hillary Clinton may not have the physical stamina necessary to perform her duties as church usher if elected.

“First of all, I’d just like to point out that this has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that she’s a woman,” explained elder John Martens. “We’ve never had a female usher in our church, but we’re not against it. It’s just that we haven’t found a suitable candidate yet. From the looks of things, Hillary might not be up to task of folding and handing out bulletins, either.”

Church experts have pointed out that ushering is not just a typical 9 to 5 job and requires a candidate who is in peak physical and

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