THE music business is rife with petty arguments between two equally despicable artists. These high-profile disputes should have ended in mutual destruction:

Taylor Swift vs Charli XCX

Swift is a billionaire as evil as any tech bro, fleecing innocent daughters for cash while processing heart-wrenching breakups that were her fault. The only person she really needs to get over is herself. As for Charli XCX, reframing a London coke lifestyle as ‘Brat’ is no more endearing than when Michael Gove reinvented himself as ‘the Gakster’.

Liam Gallagher vs Chris Martin

The least talented – against stiff competition – Gallagher only stays in the public eye by spraying vitriol everywhere like a cat marking his territory. Chris Martin has the vibes of a cool private school geography teacher, and his

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