SANTA CLARITA, CA — Christian parents living in the valley have finally decided that a portable porn-streaming device is the perfect gift for their 13-year old son.

An intense debate had broken out between the Gregarchowitz couple over whether to give their son his very first porn-streaming device or a loaded gun for his upcoming birthday. They ultimately came to the conclusion that a new porn-streaming device would be much safer.

The device the Gregarchowitzes finally decided on was a brand new iPhone 16 Pro Max which features a larger 6.9-inch display, longer battery life, and a faster processor which will make accessing and streaming pornography that much easier.

"We prayed about it for sure," said Dale Gregarchowitz. "We think that he is finally ready for his own phone. The new iPho

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