WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Commission on Presidential Debates has invited a widely revered and respected centrist named Nancy Pelosi to moderate the next presidential debate. Political consultants and experts applauded the choice, insisting Pelosi is a cherished figure widely known for her fair and balanced approach to politics.

"We think that Pelosi is by far the best choice to ensure an informative and productive debate between the candidates," said Commission Director Rumplestiltskin Mouldyneck. "It's important that these debates remain nonpartisan. We are here to ensure Americans get straight facts on what a stinky no-good yucky man Donald Trump is."

According to sources, Pelosi has accepted the invitation. She will give Donald Trump 12 seconds to answer each question, after which a loud

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