LONDON, UK

The United Kingdom has adopted the tried and true “Mennonite leadership model” of tossing out a leader after just a few weeks in charge.

“We’ve been looking at systems across the globe and what we found was that picking leaders from a hat and then kicking them out every few weeks was the best way to go about it,” said UK Parliamentary expert Reginald Cornieson. “We’ve also decided to pay a salary of five frozen chickens and bucket of oats.”

The news came as a relief for Pastor David of Fernheim Colony, Paraguay.

“I was hoping I’d at least outlast Liz Truss,” said Pastor David, who will be preaching his 8th consecutive sermon this Sunday. “Looks like I’ve made it … barely.”

While Liz Truss became the shortest serving UK Prime Minister at just six weeks, Pastor David, on the

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