U.S. - Over the past few years, we have noticed a disturbing trend in our satire: it comes true. In the beginning, we thought it was just coincidence, but as the fulfilled prophecies continued to stack up, we came to accept the truth. We here at the Babylon Bee have been given the gift of prophetic vision, and it's time to use that spiritual gift for the good of mankind.

It has therefore been decided that we will only make jokes about cool and good things so our future will be cool and good. Here are some of our headlines. Enjoy your new future!

Presidential Election Cancelled After Nation Agrees That Everyone Will Just Be Chill To Each Other For A While

All Racism Ended After Everyone Realizes We're All Pretty Much The Same

Joel Osteen Becomes A Christian

Wife Brings Babylon Bee Writ

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