WASHINGTON, D.C. — The greatest living hero of the COVID-19 pandemic has been reluctantly drawn back into battle, as the Biden administration has reportedly called retired authority on virology Dr. Anthony Fauci out of retirement for one last ride as it seeks to implement a new mask mandate.

"I'm getting too old for this [stuff]," Dr. Fauci was heard muttering after hanging up the telephone at his D.C.-area residence. "One last ride. I didn't think I had it in me, but sometimes a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. Now, let's go suppress some personal liberties and see how many lives we can destroy for old times' sake."

Government officials have begun warning the public about a new wave of COVID about to sweep through the population, despite President Biden declaring the pandemic "over

See Full Page