WASHINGTON, D.C. — A large ship carrying every kind of animal was successfully destroyed with the use of a tactical drone strike, the White House announced Friday, after President Trump authorized deadly force to take out what he claimed was a drug boat.

"My fellow Americans, today our military successfully took out a massive drug boat — maybe the biggest ever — in international waters," Trump said, addressing the nation from the Oval Office. "At my command, a drone pilot expertly rained fury down upon a large wooden ship that our intelligence showed measured precisely 300 cubits in length, 50 cubits in width, and 30 cubits in height."

Despite claims from the intelligence community that the large ship could only have been smuggling narcotics, no evidence of drugs or Venezuelans was recov

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