WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Biden administration will officially be supplying the toys for McDonald's new "Adult Happy Meals", which will reportedly consist of crack pipes and safe smoking kits.

The move came after Hunter had excitedly run to purchase his first "Adult Happy Meal", only to walk away deeply disappointed with the contents. "This...was not what I was hoping for here," said Hunter, glumly eating his cheeseburger. "I had my GoPro camera all set up to film and everything."

Although initially resistant to the idea, McDonald's quickly relented to Biden's offer. "We recognize that actual adults ordering a Happy Meal must be in a really, really dark place," said CEO Ronald McClain. "We initially planned to just include the Suicide Hotline number on the inside of every box, but we figure

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