How to Talk About Trauma With Children

Key points

Silence harms. Lean into discomfort so your presence can heal.

Regulate yourself first; use P-A-C-E: Patience, Acceptance, Curiosity, Empathy.

Healing happens in relationship; what’s shareable becomes more bearable.

Helping to heal trauma is not about a script or having the perfect words.

This past Friday, October 17, was World Trauma Day and it reminded me of how many children carry wounds too deep to process and how many adults feel unprepared to help them heal. As a result they remain silent, hoping the pain will lessen over time.

They worry: What if I say the wrong thing?

But silence can be more harmful than imperfect words. Because silence tells a child you’re either unaware, uncaring or “Your pain is too much for me, it’s better to just pretend it never happened.”