BOUNTIFUL, UT — Local man James Larson made a significant life change after deciding to replace his entire personality with his affection for his newly purchased smoker.

"Have I shown you my smoker?" Larson asked no one in particular. "That smoker is a great smoker. You can smoke fish, bacon, chicken, and hot dogs. Some people say you can't smoke cornbread on there, but NOPE! You can smoke cornbread, too."

Larson spent the better part of Tuesday afternoon telling anyone who would listen about the features of his new smoker and how he planned to smoke this year's Thanksgiving turkey.

"I'm going to use an injection basting system because brining is what peasants do," Larson continued. "Hey, look, my mom is calling. I bet she'd like to hear about my methods for cleaning the racks and what

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