How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Jessica and Rich here . It’s anonymous!

Dear How to Do It,

My husband has been after me to do something in bed that I find completely unappealing.

He wants to alternate between penetrating me and having me blow him back and forth. I find the prospect gross. He’s seen this in a lot of porn and has made it his mission to convince me to do it. The other night, we were going at it, and when we changed positions, I turned around to find his penis in my face. I immediately got up and left the room. He spent the rest of the next day sulking and accused me of kink shaming him. How can I get it across to him that this is off the table for me, in a way that won’t require me to sleep in the guest room?

—Not

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