Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

I just read The Anxious Generation , Jonathan Haidt’s book about how bad social media is for kids. I’ve already made mistakes with my daughter and smartphones that I wish I could take back. Now I’m just looking to put some guard rails on, and wondering what would be sane.

We got her a phone when she was 11. She is now 14 and just started high school. The biggest concern I have is just that she is always on her iPhone. She’s still doing great in school, seems to have quite a few friends, and goes to tennis and dance class a few hours each week. But she doesn’t hang out with friends much outside of school, is constantly distracted, and will oft

See Full Page