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We thought we were out of the woods, and that maybe we could enjoy the holidays, but we were wrong. Omicron is upon us, and it is the deadliest plague humanity has ever faced. You probably won't survive. And if you find yourself having any of these Omicron symptoms, you will definitely die. Sorry!

1) Heartburn: If you find yourself with heartburn after eating pizza or onion rings, you probably have Omicron. Been nice knowin' ya.

2) Sneezing: Omicron is a perfect killing machine designed to replicate itself by inducing sneezes in the host. Diabolical.

3) Your bones make that weird cracking sound when you get out of a chair: It's the end of the line for you.

4) Being left-handed: To be fair, is life even worth living if you're left-handed?

5) The sun looks brig

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