AUSTIN, TX - Governor Greg Abbot has signed into law a bill that deputizes students in Texas classrooms so they can use their lassoes to hog-tie any teachers promoting critical race theory and forcibly drive them out of town.

The bill is part of a wider national effort by red states like Texas to combat critical race theory since efforts at the federal level have stalled under the scrutiny of Democrats like President Joe Biden. In the main provisions of the bill, each student will be given a little deputy badge, a 10-gallon hat, and a set of shiny spurs that ring out authoritatively on each step.

"This bill is about teaching true racial harmony and true history," said the Governor at the signing. "It also empowers deputized students to take responsibility for the maintenance of their com

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