This story is part of the October 26 edition of Sunday Life. See all 13 stories .

The grief brought me to my knees. It wasn’t the first time. And it wouldn’t be the last. On an autumn day in 2022, I sank into the sand at Palm Beach on the Gold Coast. My husband , Paul [DJ Fisher], kneeled beside me, and we placed two long-stemmed, white roses into the footstep-imprinted sand in front of us. Two roses for two angels.

Two months earlier, I had been pregnant with two babies. I was no longer.

At the start of 2022, I wrote down my goals for the year. Number one on the list was: become a mother. It was a goal I’d had for many years; my whole life, really. Paul and I had been actively trying for a baby for two-and-a-half years, and had experienced two miscarriages. So many twos. I despe

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