If you scroll on TikTok, you’ll likely see quite a few videos of women recounting their dating stories like it’s some sort of reality TV show. Some of the accounts are horrific, while others are merely frustrating. Sharing your dating sagas might seem like a cathartic, empowering feat, but it can also be damaging, inviting unsolicited, ill-informed, and even sending hatred to innocent participants.

For example, let’s say a woman goes on a date with a man she met on Hinge. She does the typical “get ready with me for a first date” TikTok video, sharing details about her match and the restaurant they’re going to together. She posts the TikTok, then heads off on the date.

Once she returns from the night out, she notices thousands of likes and hundreds of comments asking for post-date updates

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