WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a landmark compromise between Democrats and Republicans, the Senate is set to vote on a new anti-murder bill that will limit the allowed murders to only 5,000 per day.

The bill will also send $60 billion to Ukraine, $15 billion to Israel, and another $100 billion to Iran.

"Democrats wanted more murder, and we wanted less. We feel this is a reasonable compromise," said Senator Mitch McConnell to reporters before staring blankly at the cameras for 10 minutes straight. "Every day once we hit 5,000 killings, that's it — no more killing! And we're gonna be strict about that."

"Just think of all the additional killings above 5,000 per day that will be prevented by this important legislation."

Some conservatives in Congress have challenged the language in the bill, sugge

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