ALTONA, MB

This summer thousands of city people have been flocking to the countryside to trample on farmer’s fields and take their stupid selfies with sunflower plants. Now it seems, the plants are beginning to fight back. Just outside Altona this week, a woman from River Heights ventured a little too far off the highway and was eaten whole by a giant mutant sunflower plant.

“We’re warning tourists from the city to be careful,” said local sunflower farmer Jakob Wiebe. “It seems a few of our plants have mated with Venus flytraps…and they’re very hungry for selfie-taking hipsters!”

Wiebe says he mourns the loss of the young woman, but says she should have taken a few precautions.

“You can’t just come to rural Manitoba with your New Balance sneakers and vintage SLR camera and expect nothi

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