NEW YORK, NY — As residents of the Big Apple made their way to the polls today, New York City mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani preemptively announced plans to blame racism after his policies fail.

The overwhelming favorite to win the race, Mamdani made sure to prepare a foolproof fallback explanation that the failure of his progressive, socialist agenda was due entirely to Americans being racists.

"It won't be my fault," Mamdani told a crowd of supporters and media at a final election day campaign rally. "If my plan to turn New York City into a miniature version of Venezuela mixed with a little bit of Sharia Law fails miserably, it won't be because it's a combination of historically evil and unsuccessful ideologies. No, it'll be because of racism. And the Jews."

The Ugandan-born Mamdani

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