It's November! That means it's almost December, which means it's almost 2024, which means it'll eventually be election time. It'll be here before you know it, and former President Donald Trump has rolled out his ambitious agenda once he is inevitably re-elected.

Through top-secret sources, The Babylon Bee has obtained this list of 45 things Donald Trump is promising for his second term:

Make America great again again

Trade all Hollywood celebs for hostages in Gaza

Put the dollar sign back in Kesha's name

Remove the extra-innings ghost runner and pitch clock from baseball and exile Rob Manfred to Canada

Make the southern border an epic American Ninja Warrior course so only the best ninja warriors get into the country

Require all Marvel superheroes to be male

Make McDonald's go back

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