Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

Recently, my husband, “Matt,” stopped off at my sister “Allie’s” place with our almost 4-year-old son “Dylan” to return a wet/dry vacuum I had borrowed. Allie had to leave the room to change her son’s diaper, and when my husband turned around, he saw Dylan urinating against the living room wall! He told Dylan not to say anything, and when Allie came back, he told her the dog was responsible. I can’t believe this. When I asked Dylan what happened, he said needed to use the bathroom, but couldn’t get his dad and aunt to pay attention to him to take him there. I reamed out my husband and he promised nothing like this will happen again. Do I need to tel

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