WASHINGTON D.C. - Once again, Democrats are at the forefront of making real progress in the battle against climate change. A party-wide commitment has been announced to use only 100% recycled talking points. "Earth first," said Nancy Pelosi at the hearing where the decision was unanimously embraced.

Blue bins have been provided to all democratic politicians as receptacles for talking points to be disposed of, then processed and reused, producing no new ideas. Climatologists say the plan will reduce carbon emissions immeasurably.

Republicans have refused to get on board, stating that the only talking points they'll be using will be produced by liquefied dinosaur bones and lots of fire. Others say nuclear talking points are a viable option that democrats refuse to embrace.

Over 100 climat

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