NEW YORK, NY - The New York City Council confirmed Monday they have banned the use of all scientific and medical discoveries made by Christians.

From the theory of gravity and Kepler's laws of planetary motion to various surgical and sterilization techniques, every modern scientific and medical concept originally discovered by Christians has been outlawed in the city.

"We can't allow New Yorkers to receive medical treatments originally discovered by biased, hateful, bigoted Christians," Mayor De Blasio said in a speech. "We are just looking to keep our city safe from bigotry."

All vaccines were immediately dumped in the Atlantic Ocean when the New York City Council discovered they had been pioneered by Louis Pasteur. Millions of biology textbooks were also burned since the concept of ge

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