DALLAS, TX — Local ophthalmologist Dr. Kyler Moore has admitted that the air puff machine doesn't measure anything, and eye doctors do that purely for the joy of watching people flinch.

"I can't believe how many people we have convinced that there's some scientific reason for blasting air into someone's eye," cackled Dr. Moore. "That's pretty much the dumbest thing you could possibly do to an eyeball. But good gracious is it entertaining to watch! I like to really build the suspense, sort of like those free-fall rides at Six Flags."

The air puff machine was reportedly developed by an eye doctor simply trying to break the monotony of a boring day asking if "one" or "two" looked better. "Honestly, being an eye doctor can be pretty repetitive and tedious," said Dr. Moore. "My one small joy

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