WASHINGTON, D.C. - Barely 500 days into his presidency, Donald Trump is now facing a unique problem: there is nothing left for him to do. Having absolutely and completely solved all problems foreign and domestic, united everyone in perfect harmony, and ushered in unprecedented peace and prosperity, Trump has been forced to spend his days feuding with celebrities and random Twitter accounts.

But yesterday in a surprise news conference, Trump excitedly announced that he had found one area in which he had not yet fixed every problem.

"I will turn my problem-solving skills to the final frontier: space!" Trump told gathered reporters as he pointed upwards, which is, according to Trump, "the direction most scientists agree space is in." "Every night we look up at all those lights in the sky an

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