A MAN feels the perfect anniversary gift from his wife would be low expectations about his sexual performance later.

Although Tom Booker appreciates the expensive cologne his wife Grace gave him, what would make the evening truly special would be if she was content with unsatisfying sex rapidly followed by sleep.

Booker said: “I had a hot bath with rose petals in and a glass of champagne waiting for her, which I hoped would make her drowsy and we might not even have to leave the house. Unfortunately it just seems to have perked her up.

“Now we’ve gone for a meal that’s costing me the best part of 300 quid. It’s really nice and Grace has eaten loads, so I was hoping she’d be really full and sleepy, which would take some of the sexual pressure off me.

“No such luck. She seems even liveli

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