If I were the commissioner of Major League Baseball, one of the many rules that I would implement purely to entertain myself would be to require that every team carry at least one player who grew up in that team’s city. And I would be strict as hell about it, too. Sorry, Rich Hill, Milton doesn’t count; your parents should have moved across the Neponset and raised you in one of those cool condos in the old chocolate factory in Lower Mills instead.

Would this rule give teams like the Marlins, Rays, Dodgers, and Yankees a built-in advantage over the Twins, Tigers, Brewers, and Red Sox themselves? Of course. Would fans complain about it and call me a weirdo? Probably. Would I care? Almost certainly — I am only human — but I would like to think that I’d stick to my guns in the face of social

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