DEAR MISS MANNERS: My pet dachshund is slightly overweight. The vet said he should lose 3 pounds. When we are out walking, people will occasionally make hurtful remarks about him, like “He really likes his food, doesn’t he?” or “His belly is really dragging.”

His belly is not dragging on the sidewalk. It makes me sad to see a sweet little dog being insulted like this. Most people say how cute he is or ask his name.

What can I say to the people who remark on his physique in such a hurtful way?

GENTLE READER: “I’m glad he can’t understand you.” And then add, in a horror-movie-child’s whisper, “As far as we know.”

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