This story is part of the November 8 edition of Good Weekend. See all 15 stories .

I’ve been invited to my first living wake. The guest of honour, who’s wheelchair-bound, is being released from his nursing home to attend. I have to bring a plate. Any suggestions?

G.G., East Lismore, NSW

A: I’ve never heard of a living wake. I’m guessing that it’s a sort-of regular wake with guests in a state of sort-of grief and loved ones delivering sort-of eulogies for a person who’s still alive, sort of. In that sense, I suppose it’s like a dress rehearsal for the real thing: the not-dead-yet person is a stage director, sitting back and making sure that the right words are being said, that the music playlist is timed properly, that loved ones are grieving appropriately – and, instead of a theat

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