Key points

Reassurance can unintentionally create distance rather than connection in conversations.

Reflecting emotions helps build genuine connection.

Correcting focuses on words, not emotions, and can turn conversations into arguments.

The most basic and fundamental human desire is deep connection with others. But ironically, most of us don’t know how to consistently and reliably get it. And worse: most of us unintentionally sabotage it, despite the best intentions.

Here's what I mean: have you opened up to someone about anything even remotely vulnerable, such as stress , loss, or just struggling through a day—and heard, “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine,” or “Here’s what you should do…” ? Most mean well when they reassure or correct. They want to help, to soothe, to fix. But oft

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