This review includes discussion of sexual assault.

I clocked in for my viewing of the fourth episode of All’s Fair expecting more of the pilot’s froth and ridiculousness—so you can imagine my surprise when I had to confront 40 minutes of Niecy Nash-Betts’s Emerald Greene dealing with the aftermath of sexual assault. In other words, not exactly a fun romp!

That said, I guess it brought some range to the show? Let’s dive in and examine (literally) every thought I had while watching Episode 4 of All’s Fair , shall we?

Should I get long, talon-like nails for my single era ?

Wait, I’m so obsessed with Emerald’s caviar-shrimp-and-red-wine tableau.

Oh my God, it’s for a date night with…herself? Even more iconic.

Aw, I love how much her boys love her.

If I had three teenage sons, I

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