If you love someone, learn how to fight with them.

Counterintuitive though it may seem, that's the advice of world-renowned relationship researchers and clinical psychologists Julie Schwartz Gottman and John Gottman.

"Conflict really has a purpose," says John Gottman, "and the purpose is mutual understanding."

In the 40 years they've dedicated to the study and practice of fostering healthy, long-lasting relationships, the Gottmans have found that the happiest and most successful couples don't avoid conflict, fear or anger – they just know how to fight fairly and productively.

The Gottmans' new book, published in January, “Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connection,” is a guide to doing just that. It aims to teach couples "how to have conflicts that don't push the

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