WINNIPEG, MB

Big news in the hockey world this week as local mom’s basement-dweller Al Kroeker, 38, of Winnipeg has just been appointed Captain of the Winnipeg Jets for the upcoming season.

“It looks like the Jets are going with 4 assistant captains plus some dude from North Kildonan,” said TSN hockey analyst Bob McKenzie. “We’ll see how they do this season, but I’m optimistic that this young man can put down his XBox controller long enough to captain this team.”

Kroeker says the appointment came as no surprise as he’s been yelling at the screen during Jets games for years.

“Quite frankly, I think they should have made me head coach. Once it became clear they couldn’t get Barry Trotz, I should have been the first one they called,” said Kroeker, licking the Cheetos dust from his fingers

See Full Page