When a couple gets divorced, everyone in their orbit is affected—not just the two people whose “I do” turned into “I don't.” And boy, does that crowd have something to say about it. Some people are so shocked that they can’t restrain their nosiness. Others fear divorce is contagious and will happen to them next. And many others, well-intentioned though they may be, are full of unsolicited advice.

We asked experts—and a divorcee from The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives —to share the worst things to say to someone who’s getting divorced, plus which words actually help.

“What happened?”

When you’re talking to someone who just shared news about their divorce, consider whether what you’re saying is for your sake or for the good of the affected party. This common question, for example, is “m

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