MARTHA'S VINEYARD, MA. — Critics of Governor Ron DeSantis are outraged at yet another death that has allegedly occurred thanks to his political exploits. U.S. Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez tearfully recounted how the Florida governor yanked her from her Venezuelan home and human-trafficked her to Martha's Vineyard, where she died.

Following her martyrdom, Ocasio-Cortez expressed hopes that Taylor Swift sing at her funeral.

After DeSantis recklessly shuttled .0001% of the nation's illegal immigrants to a couple of posh, liberal towns, Democratic lawmakers vowed to investigate whether any laws were broken. After finding no laws broken, the lawmakers then proposed a bill specifically aimed at preventing the use of immigrants as political pawns, appropriately named The Inflation Ev

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