WASHINGTON, D.C. — Tensions rose in the White House today after President Joe Biden called an urgent meeting with top administration members. According to reports, the team convened in the White House Situation Room to have a leisurely discussion about the weather.

"Listen up, folks!" Biden said abruptly. "We've got a serious problem to deal with, and I need all my top fellas and broads involved. We're going to meet in the Situation Room, which is in a location someone will have to show me. We're going to enjoy some chocolate chip ice cream and have some small talk about the weather if you get what I mean. Now, let's go. Harbinsargindarbit!"

Though some suspicion arose as to the subject matter of the top-secret meeting, sources within the White House stressed that it was about the weathe

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