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Much has been made about President-Elect Donald Trump's decision to place Robert F. Kennedy Jr. in charge of the Department of Health and Human Services, with some members of the media speculating that it will end life in America as we know it. But just what plans does RFK Jr. have in store to make America healthier?

The Babylon Bee has obtained the following list of things Kennedy is preparing to implement:

Require all the fat kids to run behind the bus to school: Pick up the pace, tubbies.

Limit movie theater popcorn buckets to only 5 gallons: You'll run out of popcorn before the trailers end.

Allow BLM protesters to burn down all Coldstone Creameries: Direct the Left's tactics in the right direction.

Remove all seed oils from deep-fried Twinkie

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