. Taylor Swift forgot how to write.

I can remember my life before and after I saw the interview. In one of several promo radio chats for The Life of a Showgirl, Taylor Swift revealed her favorite lyric from the new album: “There’s a song called ‘Father Figure,’ where the first line of the second verse says, ‘I pay the check / Before it kisses the mahogany grain.’” She pauses and grins as if waiting for a gasp. It never arrives. She continues, undeterred: “I’m like, That’s my favorite type of writing, right? Where you have to think about, What do those words mean? Oh, somebody got the bill before it hit the table. ”

Watching her explain the word mahogany, I knew I was doomed, both personally and as part of a larger species. I saw God himself signing the check for our obliteration

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