When my mom died, sorting through her belongings was overwhelming. I won't put that burden on my children.

• My sister and I tried to help our mother organize her home for years, but she resisted our efforts. • Once she died, sorting through her belongings became an overwhelming task. • I don't want to leave my kids with the same burden, so I'm clearing clutter from my house now.

"You'll deal with it when I'm dead," our mom said whenever my sister or I wanted to help clean up any mess in her life, whether it be the kitchen cabinets or financial entanglements. Her stubbornness irked me, but I didn't have the heart to argue.

When she was 85, and recently widowed by her second husband, we stepped in to assist with her bills and medical needs, a job her accountant husband had facilitated through the years.

We quickly faced the painful realization that her brilliant mind was no longer as shar